


I won’t lose like that

by belatheo



Series: how do you sleep when you lie to me? (shame and danger) [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bellamione Cult Ilvermorny Cup, Discord: Bellamione Cult, F/F, Hallucinations, Heavy Angst, Kidnapping, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Torture, Romanticized Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-23
Updated: 2019-09-23
Packaged: 2020-11-02 12:17:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20743430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/belatheo/pseuds/belatheo
Summary: It’s war. And all of us know all is fair in love and war. Extreme situations call for extreme measures, and one Dark Witch would go to any extent to get answers to her Lord’s demands.or, what if Hermione managed to keep Ron and Harry safe and thus was the only one taken by the Snatchers to Malfoy Manor.





	I won’t lose like that

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is half beta'd by Brae, and half unbeta'd cause I'm a procrastinator. You can point errors and I'll be happy to fix them later, many thanks!
> 
> Also this has some sort of playlist liked to it, so feel free to get some spoilers in form os songs: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7fISYWrPXnUQy5yNMBvgrl?si=6OwI7RUAS6aN8Hp15PW2Kw

_They sent me away to find them a fortune_  
_A chest filled with diamonds and gold_

Joy. Thin, flimsy, ephemeral joy. There one moment and gone the next. As soon as Harry’s and Ron’s faces disappeared in the indistinguishable swirl and wind howl of the portkey, that was all I felt. Joy and hope that they wouldn’t fuck up again by being careless and/or saying His name… The bloody portkey was hard enough to come up with, and it was my second to last resort to not lose this war. _ It better not be used in vain, Harry _ . _ Just read the damn paper… and please save us all _.

With my two best friends vanishing, all was back to darkness and some shadowy silhouettes. The noise was getting closer and closer: steps onto dry leaves, shouting, spells disarming the rest of our camp defenses that weren't broken by the Taboo curse. I had barely time enough to shrink my purse before someone's hands were grabbing at my hair and I was up fast. Pain. As if a rubber band had snapped between my nape and shoulder.

"Get up girl, where are the others that were here with you?" Hot, humid breath on my left ear and a chill going from my head to my toes. I felt all my hairs standing, all my senses telling me to run at the same time my body clenched on itself making me freeze. A hand was tracing my spine in an exceedingly slow pace all the way down to my jeans’ back pockets. I was sweating cold, couldn’t see much more than shadows through my peripheral vision but could sense a grin near my ear, and then my wand was gone.

"They are gone." I heard my own voice cracking over the thumping of my blood in my ears, and felt tears pooling in my eyes, my vision beginning to blur. I don't know if I was thinking of any type of god or any greater force but I looked up asking for pretty much any help... _ Please don't make yourself look weak in front of _ _ them _.

"Where did they go, girl? Who were they?" another sneer delivered right to my left ear. If I could concentrate enough I could almost feel the air shifting along the sound waves. And then _ that _ breath hit me, a foul smell I couldn't quite place and that only made me want to puke. Not even angling my head to the right could help me pull in some fresh air... all I had around me was stale insipid air. From the corner of my eye I could see a shadow facing my body getting taller and taller, sturdier, darker and grimmer. Still a few feet from me and I wasn't able to make out the shadow's features, my vision was still blurry from the tears I managed to not let fall.

"We asked you," my eyes were closed as soon as there was the tip of something sharp against my jaw. I felt the tears falling then, and hoped those men were as blind as I was in all that darkness. The sharp tip ran a scratch from below my earlobe along my jaw all the way down to my chin— "who was here with you, _ girl _ ." And then up to my lower lip where I could feel a gash when he applied a little more force. Point taken. "And _ I _ ," the large shadow took shape then and I could discern sharp teeth before my eyes, some scattered fur along the jaw before me. It couldn't be him… It must _ not _ . Another hot, wet, putrid breath was right inside my nose and mouth the second he resumed speaking, "Don't like to wait for petty answers." I could almost feel the taste of clotted blood, and the snarl at the end of that speech, if you could call it that, had my body reacting instinctively. I was as rigid as if a Petrificus Totalus hit me along with the sound. And I could feel my eyes as wide as saucers, ‘cause now I was held in bloody fucking Greyback’s claws and I surely hadn't thought of something to counteract _ that _ in this quest to defeat the Dark side.

"I-I don't know them… two boys I found in these woods a f-few days ago."

"And what was such a _ delicious _ girl doing in these woods?" Greyback was licking his lips, a wicked grin showing sharp yellow teeth, and then I was running on autopilot, the way he said that word made my skin crawl and suddenly the rigidness of my body was gone and I needed out of this. 

"Easy, Greyback," the man holding me said, stoic. It was almost as if he was worried about Greyback killing me… erm, eating me was probably more close to it.

"Oh, I’m not going to bite just yet. We’ll see if she’s fast enough at remembering why she's here." the wolfy smirk was again aimed at me and I'd better think of something worth saving my sorry ass for at least this night. "You look like you're still Hogwarts age…"

"I was camping with my parents…" I regretted opening my mouth as soon as I did so, the putrid smell from Greyback's breath invaded my senses again and all I could feel was the taste of blood, rotten meat and flesh on my tongue. That smell and taste made me jerk back unconsciously, trying to put myself as far away from him as possible in the given situation, but the iron grip the man behind me had on my hair prevented me from doing much. "They had to go back to work and I stayed, since they didn't want me back at Hogwarts this term." The thumping of my heart was so loud on my ears that I was praying to any gods out there who might listen that the noise was only adrenaline speaking and that Greyback couldn't also listen to it… it would be my giveaway. _ Just let this be convincing enough, please _.

“How convenient… don't ya fellas think so?” I could hear a chorus of agreements from all around while Greyback started stalking around me. I was certainly the prey at this point, "Your name, girl?"

"Penelope Clearwater." I heard myself saying it and was minutely surprised – and also proud – that my voice didn't wavered.

"Blood status?"

"Half-blood." My voice was short of a whisper by now, and all that questionnaire wasn't ending early enough.

Greyback was tapping his index finger on his chin mocking a thinking pose when he turned to face me with a smirk, “Mhmm. So you were camping with mommy and daddy, stayed while they gone back to work, met two random boys in the forest and thought wise to stay with those strangers… and let me guess, it was one of those boys who said the Dark Lord’s name?” He awaited while I barely nodded, “Well, well, not so wise a decision of staying behind don’t you think, darling?” his cocky tone sure got me rethinking my actions thus far now. Greyback turned to his crew and started shouting orders around, "Someone go search that tent. Scabior, restrain that beauty along with the other captives, I'll see if _ miss _ Clearwater is on the wanted list."

Scabior, the man restraining me dragged me along to a large tree trunk where I could discern some crouching silhouettes, conjured a rope binding my wrists together and put me down beside the other prisoners. The adrenaline I was on a few minutes ago was starting to leave my body and now I was feeling even more tired than on the run. Not as focused on keeping myself alive on that brutish claws, I could discern a boy nearly my age and a goblin… what could make things slightly difficult for me after Greyback’s crew came back from the tent with everything we left there. It was hard to tell time, and surely I wouldn’t have enough to re-check all the possible lies for what they could find in the tent.

“Hey! Look at this, Greyback!” I heard shouting from inside the tent, and a dark figure sprinting towards Greyback and Scabior a few feet ahead of me. I could see flashes of shining silver in the scarce lighting of wands while the stranger ran in Greyback’s direction. That man could only have found Gryffindor’s sword. _ Shit, that was too fast. _

“Ve-e-ry nice,” I could see Greyback was almost preening at the sight of it. The sword exchanged hands and he was glowing with the satisfaction of what came of his little scavenger hunt. “Oh, very nice indeed. Looks goblin-made, that. We should see what our little friend says about it.” Greyback turned in our direction and his lot accompanied him. He crouched in front of the goblin bound to the other boy and rested the edge of the sword on his left cheek. Any pressure there and a long gash would open, “What do you think goblin, is this your kind’s work?”

“I can’t be sure, it’s too dark to know.”

The Lumos Maxima cast was blinding for a minute and my eyes stung after being used to the last half hour or so in the engulfing darkness. “That’s better for you, your insolent prick?” The sadistic nature of Greyback was showing plenty now that he must’ve pressed the sword on the goblin’s cheek out of annoyance, thus it was dripping blood down his jaw. “Yes or no, answer!”

The goblin looked out of the corner of his eye to the sword opening a gash on himself and sneered before saying, “Yes, that sharpness is equivalent to that of a goblin weapon.”

“Mhmm, interesting tip. Where did you get something like this,” there was a flash of silver before I felt a press of cold sharp metal against my cheek, “_ darling _?”

“I don’t know, never seen it!” I held myself as still as I could to not cut myself against the sword’s sharp edge. “I swear it’s not mine!” I could feel a drip of sweat running down my brow as the only possible telltale of my unease at lying. Greyback slid the sword tip from my cheekbone to near my mouth and all my effort of being still was thrown out the window.

Another man out of the tent was walking to Scabior’s side holding a bundle of papers to his face. Whatever the man had on his possession interested Scabior enough for him to stare at me as if I was a pot of gold. “Hang on a minute, Greyback! Look at this, in the Prophet!” he came near trusting the paper between himself and the werewolf. “‘_ Hermione Granger, _ ’” he read peeking at my reaction, “‘ _ the Mudblood who is known to be traveling with Harry Potter. _ ’” Of all the bad luck I could have, this was too bad and too soon. I sure didn’t have a come back for this one, _ shit!_

Both of them were coming near now and crouching before me. “You know what, little girly?” Sharp claws held my chin and jaw tight, puncturing five little holes on my skin, hot and stingy, “This picture looks a hell of a lot like you.” He spoke so close I could feel his breath on my tongue again, but this time no amount of disgust could make my blood stop running cold. He was looking at me with so much hunger and I was so paralyzed, it took me a minute to sense he was waiting for an actual answer.

“It isn’t!” I started with a whisper, jagged and almost indistinguishable. “It isn’t me!” and then even I could hear an echo of my high pitched negation. That was as good as turning myself guilty. _ Damn _.

“‘_ … known to be traveling with Harry Potter, _’” Greyback looked at me again repeating those words quietly, tasting the sugary victory he had just now. “It looks like we’ll be having a little trip to the high ranks of the Dark Lord’s forces. You look like a pot of gold now!” 

As soon as he turned his back to me all I could hear was my blood rushing in my ears, and all the commotion of Greyback’s crew reached my ears in a muffled manner, almost as if I was underwater. I don’t know how much time passed between they finding out who I was and me being thrusted on a cold metal bar gate, but I recall that being the fanciest manor I ever saw in my life.

**Author's Note:**

> The end may feel kinda rushed? It's because it is. It wasn't intended to finish at this point, but 1st person is tiring and it's my first time trying my hand at this type of writing, so that's all you get, thumbs up!


End file.
